Yaay! I'm back! Work was being impossible on me for the past couple of months to the point that I'd rather spend my free time with my family. So, blog I'm so sorry for neglecting you lately. It's just that I have been busy with life as usual. But hey, I'm back and that's good right? :)
Don't worry, nothing much has changed, except for a few but significant insights brought about the recent turn of events:
1. Change in priorities.
When I had Amber, I told myself nothing has to change in me much - interests, hobbies and lifestyle. I promise myself not to take things too seriously because I am young and what happened to me does not have a right to take away all that's happy about me. So I spend on things that are superficial. But now I guess reality is being a bitch to me and slapped me in the face telling me to grow up. I guess it worked cause I am beginning to realize the importance of spending for things that really matter - the future. So no more unplanned travels this year I guess. No more sidetrips to the mall cause I still cannot trust myself not to be impulsive. No more sudden pigouts. This is hard but I am most happy to try. Afterall, saving for the future is much, much apealing to me now.
2. Family.
I may have wronged them and scarred them big time in the past but they would always have my back. I make bad choices and my head is just damn hard but they accept me anyway. There are times when I just couldn't stand them, how it seems to me like they are controlling my life and deciding everything for myself. But these are just the things that sets me straight. I just realized that no matter how many days come and make me feel like I don't wanna be in their shadows any more, I would always be part of their lives. And when mine gets twisted and dirty, they are the ones who would no doubt pick me up and take away what hurts in their own little ways.
3. Amber.
You have no idea how each day I grow more and more in love with her. I just couldn't get enough of her, could kiss her all day everyday and still crave for more. It's just amazing, and overwhelming and unbelievable how you could feel such love for another person. It's seriously crazy. She makes me do things no one ever does. She makes me sing! and dance! and make silly faces and go around the house running or playing hide and seek. Or be pulled down to the floor and pretend drinking tea or eating cake. Cheezuz, it's crazy. Guess you would never really appreciate kids (well for me who utterly dislikes them back then) when you already have one. And the one that stands out of these, is the thought of wanting to give her all of the best in the world. That's enough to keep me moving forward, brush off a bad day in the office or a bad argument with his dad(yeah I just really need to include that lol), or the occasional visit of self pity. She's my world. I could regret a lot of things in my life but not having her.
4. Blog.
Sum up all three above and that's just about what you'll have to be expecting here from now on. More serious stuff to share - about me on being a mom (a working one) and still a 20 something girl who'd rather watch the world from the side.
Xx
