Saturday, February 9, 2013

Read: The Art Or Racing In The Rain

Googled image

I was listening to The Morning Rush one workday morning when I heard one of the DJs, Chico Garcia mention this book and how it brought him to tears the moment he finished the last page. I was then looking for a new book to start on and so I immediately searched a pdf copy in the net and yeheeey on to my new read!

To give you a gist, here's the synopsis from the ever reliable Wikipedia lol:

The novel follows the story of Denny Swift, a race car driver living in Seattle, and his dog Enzo, who believes in the Mongolian legend that a dog who is prepared will be reincarnated in his next life as a human.  Enzo sets out to prepare, with The Seattle Times calling his journey "a struggle to hone his humanness, to make sense of the good, the bad and the unthinkable."
Enzo spends his days watching and learning from television, gleaning what he can about his owner's greatest passion, race car driving — and relating it to life. Enzo eventually plays a key role in Denny's child-custody battle with his in-laws, and distills his observations of the human condition in the mantra "that which you manifest is before you".

This book is inspiring and heart warming. Taking the dog's perspective to narrate a truly wonderful story of a family and a father who stopped at nothing winning the custody of her daughter, this book is a refreshing way of looking into human experience. Enzo, the dog narrating the story of his race car driver master, Denny,  believes he's going to be human in his next life. So he did all his best learning how humans live by watching the television Denny leaves running for him when he gets to work everyday. If only he could talk, he would be the best confidante and friend Denny could ever have. He was, nonetheless. 

Have you ever wondered if our dogs, or should I say our pets, have the ability to talk, what would they tell us? And even if they didn't, have it ever crossed your mind what's running inside their heads? They do have their personalities and preferences. You can't always dictate them what you want them to do. I remember our Skipper, a golden retriever who died 2 years ago, gave us so much amusement by his antics and unique personality. He would be so playful and sweet, always wanting to sit on our laps (not to mention his gigantic size and weight) one time, and be so snob and lazy the next. He's also suplado, he won't respond to strangers calling his name, or even to me when I make lambing later on just because I didn't let him inside the house earlier that day. He would also make dabog when he doesn't get what he wants. He's so hilarious so it's hard to get mad at him even if he always destroy all our slippers at home. 

Let me tell you Skipper's story because Enzo really got me inspired on that book. Skipper has always been a sibling to me. My brother got us Skipper as a gift to my mom when he and our eldest brother started working and is always out of the house. Skipper became our constant companion and a consistent playmate and buddy to me. He is so adorable as a puppy. Playful and friendly. He's sooooo maloko! He has a lot of mischievous acts that's hard to have him punished. Definitely not a guard dog cause he's so senorito. He's a lazybutt and you can't shove him to stand no mater how hard you try. He's been with us for 5 years. He died when I was 4 months pregnant with Amber. He has always been with my mom when all of us are busy with our lives. I remember our last Christmas with him, when he was struggling with an aching leg. He would not move. He would not get up. Partly maybe because he doesn't wanna get pushed outside the house, and partly because he really can't stand in that weight with an aching leg. But when we were all getting ready for our annual Christmas family picture, he stood up and sit beside me, getting ready to be included in the picture as well. We were all laughing crazily because we all thought he couldn't get up. Despite the obvious struggle in walking, he would follow us around the house wherever we take pictures. Skipper really had something humanly in him. Always wanting to be part of the family.

He got better after that Christmas. After all the Vet said there's nothing wrong with him, just a sprain in his ankle. But one morning I got a phone call from my mom sobbing nonstop. I already had an idea but it's something I can't prepare myself to accept instantly. Skipper died that morning when my mom ran out of the house to get to the Vet because she couldn't contact his phone. Skipper couldn't get up anymore. And it's no joke. My mom told me that before she left, she told Skipper to hang on, she'll just call Doc Rafer. Before she got out of the gate, she glanced back at Skipper lying on the floor, staring sadly back at her. That's a memory that brings my mom to tears instantly even now.   When my mom got back with the Vet, he's already gone. Even the Vet couldn't tell what caused. 

I was crying on the phone with my mom when she told me Skip's gone. I was crying like I lost a family member. Like I lost a brother. I couldn't imagine going home, opening the gate without skipper jumping at me. Without Skipper eating my assignments. Without Skipper playfully biting my hands, asking me to play with him. Without Skipper, that simple. After a while, my mom told me to stop crying, it's not good for Amber and me. She told me to not think too much of what happened. When we got the chance to talk about it after some time, she told me maybe it's for the better after all. We're expecting for Amber and after college we'll be staying in Manila. No one's going to look after Skipper and Codie, his son when we move. That's actually what's bothering my mom for the last months before Skipper died. She thought Skipper's passing paved way for Amber's arrival. What happened made everything a lot easier for all of us. We only have Codie to have someone look after him while we're away. Maybe Skipper doesn't wanna cause additional burden, additional worry to over think about. It may sound absurd and nonsensical but that's what I wanted to believe as well.

Enzo fantasized of finding Denny when he becomes a man. He wanted to say hi and wink at Denny, making him wonder if he knew him. That makes me wonder too, what if skip is human now? Don't laugh at me in this absurdity but there are times I would see skipper in Amber. She has these characteristics closely similar of those of Skipper. She's suplada, she's pilya and she's got a unique personality of her own that reminds me of Skip when he's still with us. Maybe it's coincidence. But maybe it's like Enzo on that little boy. Or maybe it's just the book that pinched my heart too much I'm over analyzing. Hahaha. Whatever.

Try the book. It's a nice read. :))

Ciao,
xx Raine


Sunday, February 3, 2013

Friday, January 18, 2013

#randomthought

I wish I am that strong to raise my child by myself and be not afraid to let go of what doesn't seem to work anymore.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Happiness is...


And Indeed. 
This year, I promise to start doing things on my own and stop relying on other people to make me feel good. I have been dependent all my life and maybe I am causing too much burden to these people trying to drag them to my lifestyle. 

I didn't have a sister, nor did I grow up with cousins whose ages are close as mine, whom I can play, share secrets and giggle about crushes with. I get used to playing games by myself. Some days,  my mom would bribe my playmates/ neighbor to eat or sleepover at our house just to have me someone to play with. Most of the time I send them home crying. lol. But yeah, true story. I was such a brat then. Well just sometimes. And they do come play with me again the next day, okay? Oh little kids. 

So you see, all my life I have been used to making myself preoccupied and happy as a kid alone. I was already a student when I started playing outside the house and making friends on my own. In between those times, my mom has been my sister as well. She'll go with me wherever I wanna go. And even if I want to try to go alone, she'll insist on coming with me. I was already in my third year in HS (I guess) when I finally learned to sleep alone with the lights off. I was so dependent on her. I feel so incomplete without her and I know that's not healthy. Being too much dependent on anyone never was healthy. 

And as we go on in life we meet people who eventually become part of our lives. As the relationship that we share with them gets deeper and deeper, it's becoming inevitable to get attached to them. And here I am again. Being clingy and needy like a baby. Couldn't get to someplace alone. Afraid to try something new alone. Couldn't make decision alone. Shit, right? I am so annoying and immature in this sense. Always been afraid to be on my own. And that's the very reason why I am always holding back. I couldn't move forward and get risky. I always need someone else's safety blanket. Soooooooo LAME. In all sense of the word. On the good side though is that I am aware of it. And now, this year I think I am ready to go exploring all by myself. It is difficult for me that is why I take it as a challenge to let go and thread by myself. I can't forever be dragging people to be part of my life and force them to fit in my lifestyle. I can't be that selfish for the rest of my life. And as the picture say, "happiness is an inside job". Instead of constantly being disappointed because I expect other people to create my own happiness, I should have realized long ago that there's no better one who can fulfill that bliss but myself.

I remember an acquaintance once told me that some people are better with a partner, some are just by themselves. It's true. But I guess you can be better having both, not just at the same time. I mean you can go miles happier with a partner but not all the time. Some time you'll want to just be by yourself too and that's what makes it healthy. You have time being a partner and you have time being you. You don't have to make one person your world because they can leave any time they want and that'll leave you with nothing. Cliche. But believe me it took me years to shove it down my throat and get my lazy ass to do the necessary. So! Hello self! We'll be spending so much time with each other in the coming months, get yourself together and just ride with me, k? :))). Thanks to the photo above for pushing me start finding happiness where it should really come from, inside. Asuuuuuuus. hahaha. And whoever you are reading this, I hope you got inspired too. :))


Cheers!
Rainee



Thursday, December 27, 2012

Thank you, 2012

It's almost the end of yet another amazing year. Looking back to the last 11 months, I am more than happy to see I've changed a lot. My lifestyle, my preferences and my outlook, they all gone matured. Just like in all the past years I have learned a lot from this one. I feel like a mother more and more each day. Amber is growing exactly how I prayed she'd be - happy, smart and so adorable. I woudn't trade this life for anything-- anything in the world. It may not be all candies and rainbows sure, but at the end of the day, I still have with me the people I care much about and that is enough to cross me over to the next day. And the next year.

If 2011 felt like a shower of opportunities that tested my limits, strength and faith I say 2012 went on bathing me with realizations to dream the right dream and finally have attainable goals. It may still be a bit blurry but I know where I'm heading. It's still bumpy but heck, it'll be one hell of a ride and I'm excited. Career wise, 2012 I owe you big. I landed a job that I can be proud of, made new friends, learned new things and got promoted in less than a year! Amazing, right? I may all be whiny and ranty about how stressful work is but really if I just slow down and take a look at it, it's pretty damn nice, all those achivements in less than year, right? It's really something I am thankful for. Family wise? We're finally seeing the same horizon. Or atleast that's what I want to believe? Haha kk no drama here. I just wish we get through 2013 alive and still together so the year after it would all be ours to take. Other than those two aspects, I practically have nothing else except some random tweet exchanges with my friends and 2 of my closest. I miss having those people around. Seriously.
On the lighter note though, I remember I made a list of Strict To Dos for 2012 and I wanted to check on them. So before the fireworks crack, I want to see by the detail how 2012 has been to me based on this list I imposed on my self. Let's see:

1.Discover a new cuisine, or eat something you've never tried before.
This is a little safe and a bit non daring but I should say HAKAW. I am not really into chinese nor japanese foods much so I thought I'd die tasting only one variety of dumpling all my life and that is shomai (and I reamin loyal to Hen Lin). But when my officemate bought a dozen of hakaw one random lunch time, I had the urge to taste it, only because the smell is divineeee. And behold! foodgasm in an instant! Yummmmmehmummmmmeh! Now I'm craving pffft!
Image from the net
2. Make a new friend
Having a job earns you not just a living but friendship as well.
Such curayzee people
Christmas Dinner at Gram's: we are getting bigger and bigger and bigger!
3. Shut off your phone for one weekend.
I did! Well it wasn't entirely shut off cause I was using it for music but the point is, there were no distractions at all cause there's no signal to begn with! This was last March when Jay and I went to Anawangin Cove in Zambales.

4. Finish at least three books you can add to your collection
The Hunger Games Trilogy pa lang ok na. Haha, but that addition to the list are Looking For Alaska, Thriteen Reasons Why, and my new favorite, The Fault in Our Stars.

5. Visit at least three beaches I have never been to
Hmm this is tricky. I've had two beach travels this year and they are both island hopping. Does that count per island I've stepped on?Hihi. One is Anawangin Cove, and the other is Coron, Palawan. Too bad could make Pagudpod count this year. Guess hafta see this summer :)

But uhmmmm. Of all the 22 items I have highlighted here, I've only accomplished 5. What does that make me? Huhu. I guess that makes me realize how work has eaten all my time and left little for these things that makes me happy. This again leads me to this. I better start doing something about this dilemma. All the rest that are still pending, let me carry all of you over to 2013. I swear and I pleadge that 2014 won't get to see the light of day if I haven't accomplished every single one of you yet. Haha Kidding! Joke lang po.

In a nutshell, 2012 you have made me productive at work and made me realize what I really want in life. And that is a balanced and healthy lifestyle. Amber have been and will always be my top priority and I sworn to give her the best and that's me starting by investing quality time with her. Maybe if I can move nearer my work I'll have more time to spend at home helping my mom with Amber and bond with them at the same time instead of always being worn off at the end of every single work day. Maybe then I'll be less irritable and agitated. Maybe then I'll have time to give in to movie dates with my team or join that watercolor workshop I've been meaning to, or do some nail art, or create a new piece of DIY accessories for me and Amber. Or I can finally start that long overdue business with my close friend. The possibilities are endless and it all leads to a happy me and happy life :)). If 2012 landed me a job, 2013 perhaps you can land me and Amber a new home? Pretty please? :)) Anyway, I hope your year has been as colorful as mine and may your coming year be another one hella great year for new learning, new adventures, and new set of friends to lighten the challenges you're sure to face.

Happy New Year, cheers! :))
Bisou,
Raine xx


Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Christmas 2012

Doing a quick post because it's been so hard these days to find alone time to blog.

From my family to yours, a heartfelt season's greetings. :))





Ciao!

Bisou,
Rainee

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Rainbow

Haven't been on the loop since November and that's entirely because work has eaten my social and cyber life once again. *Applause*

Kidding and negativity aside, how have y'all been? It's almost Christmas! It's just hours away and here I am infront of my TP working. Hurray! Hahah kkk, tucking the bitterness away. Oh well, I'm not really that sad since I'm working at home, the perks of having TP.

Anyway, work isn't all about stress and sulking. Some days we are colorful and ready for the camera. Just like last Wednesday, 19 December. Apparently the company (Team initiated) sends out Holiday greetings to the client and IBM counterparts across the globe with pictures! Hence my panic last Monday. We were opting for a Mafia Theme and that was decided only that day while the shoot would be the day after the next. To my relief, it was changed to casual rainbow colors and luckily I picked red.

So let me share them to you:  :)

Nice shot of Eastwood Park: Photo credit to my Officemate :D



Not much of a Rainbow color, eh? I knoooow. But that shall do. -_-''''

Ciao for now! :)

Have a wonderful Christmas with your loved ones! :))

Bisou,
Rainee